The Seed and the Story—-Decoration Days

Decoration Day at Brearly Cemetery, Dardanelle Arkansas 2011.

I have recently been given the wonderful opportunity of writing a regular column for the Post Dispatch,a weekly paper based in Dardanelle, Arkansas which is also the oldest newspaper in Arkansas.   It’s been a long-time dream of mine to contribute to this paper, and I am beyond thankful for this opportunity. I’ll be writing a column entitled “The Seed and the Story,” which will discuss topics such as folklife, memory, community, family, sense of place, sustainability, community-based action, intergenerational dialog, and who knows what else.

I’m sure every now and then I’ll have something to say about dogs and mules or babies  and flowers or guitars and clotheslines or human rights activism and compost. I don’t want to put too fine a point on what the column is about because more than anything I want it to be open to new ideas and reflective of the diverse communities within my Dardanelle home as well as ideas and concepts I’m learning from my new Little Rock experience.

Most importantly I want the column to be interactive. My goals is to contribute, in my own small way, to spurring discussion in my home community and possibly even other places as well. So, I hope you’ll join me in sharing your stories, ideas, thoughts, concerns, you name it. I truly believe the best way for dialoging about home (the good and the bad aspects of it) is starting with what we know—our own stories and experiences.

I’d like to encourage you to support the Post Dispatch and/or your own local newspaper.  The Post Dispatch has a fb page. To “like” the page click here. Also, if you feel so inclined, if you like my pieces it would not hurt for you to let the paper know so that they’ll perhaps support more columnists in the future. Don’t forget how important your voice can be in your community!

So, here’s the first column. This first entry is about a tradition that’s close to my heart and my research: Decoration Days.

The Seed and the Story–Decoration Days. Originally published in the Post Dispatch.

Throughout the month of May area cemeteries celebrate Decoration Day, a time when families bring flowers to their loved one’s graves. Each cemetery designates a specific Sunday of the month for the decoration, and as a child I fondly remember going with my parents and grandparents to decorate graves in Cotton Town, Harkey’s Valley, Chickelah Methodist, and Brearley Cemeteries.

The all-day tradition of dinner on the grounds and community singing had died out by the time I was a child, but there was still a great deal of visiting, especially at Harkey’s Valley. First we’d decorate the graves with bright, silk flowers, sticking the stems into the soft, red clay near the headstones. Once all the family plots were bright with color and blooms, the adults would unload the fold-out chairs and sit around reminiscing about the people buried nearby, great grandparents, aunts and uncles who became mythical figures in my childhood imagination. I’d sit and listen to the stories awhile before heading off with my cousins to chase lizards and explore the older tombstones at the edges of the cemetery.

Because of my family’s stories, I felt like I knew the family buried there, even if they’d been dead for decades. And while I didn’t fully grasp it at the time, Decoration Days helped me to understand, from a very young age, that death wasn’t scary or strange but was instead a fundamental part of being human.

Harkey's Valley Decoration, Yell County Arkansas 2008. Photo by Bryan Moats.

As I grew older and became increasingly interested in living traditions and oral histories, I began to love Decoration Days as a time for family to come together and recognize those we’d lost who helped to create the community we called home. In my adult mind the once mythical figures became real people—-people who built houses, labored in the cotton fields, gave birth to babies, trained mule teams, and worked in the chicken plant. I also began to understand that the dead are never really dead. They are always near, affecting our daily lives in countless ways even if we don’t always recognize this.

Now in my thirties with children of my own, Decoration Days have become increasingly personal. I lost my mother over two years ago, and now I find myself decorating her grave, just like she once decorated her family’s. It’s a beautiful, heartbreaking, and strangely peaceful sight to look across Brearely Cemetery the evening of Decoration Day and view the whole cemetery glowing with color. It reminds me that we’ve all lost but also that we all remember. And because we remember, the dead will always be with us. I am deeply thankful that my mother, my father and grandparents taught me this wonderful tradition of honoring and remembering the dead and that I can pass it on to my sons.

What about you? Do you celebrate Decoration Day and/or remember celebrating it as a child? Do you remember the days when people still had singing and dinner on the grounds? Why is this tradition important to you? I’d love to hear your stories and possibly share them in upcoming columns. Email me at meredithmartin_moats@yahoo.com.

Harkey's Valley 2008.

If you want to see more photos from these Decoration Days, go here.

Do you have photos of Decoration Days past? I’d love to see them.

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